Saturday, August 13, 2011

If God had a Computer …

I have traveled quite a bit over the last 25 years as a part of the various jobs I’ve held in the high tech/software industry. Before there were iPods or iPads to occupy my mind while in the air I  would occasionally let my imagination run wild as I pictured how today’s technology might be applied or have been applied to managing all of creation. I’ve kept these thoughts largely to myself but will risk sharing some of them with you today.

For example, imagine the pained look on the face of the angel in training charged with managing the climate control computers as he told his supervisor that he had accidently reset the system.  His boss, after informing the big guy makes a quick call to Noah letting him know what is going down. You know the rest of the story.

imageI wonder how the dinosaurs felt after they elected not to renew their maintenance contract on their planetary protection system. They were perturbed by the high pressure sales tactics of the angels sent to renew the contract and decided that they just didn’t want to pay the price required (abstain from fresh meat). Can you say asteroid strike of biblical proportions?

I hope the same holy wars we have today Mac v. PC, Android v. iPhone/iPad, Oracle v. IBM DB2, MS Office v. OpenOffice … are not prevalent in the hereafter.

Can you see the competing database salesmen each claiming to have the highest SPS rating when selling to the CSO overseeing earth (SPS: Sins per Second, CSO: Chief Sin Officer – mortal analogy TPS: Transactions per Second, CIO; Chief Information Officer). Could Satan be a database/hardware vendor and therefore the reason he tempts us is to create demand for higher performing systems within the sin tracking market? I’m sure business is booming today in that space.

I suppose I should stop before I cross the line into sacrilege, if I haven’t already. I’ll wait a few days or weeks and if I haven’t been struck down I’ll share a few more items  for your consideration in the event that technology plays a role in the eternities :-)

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